22-year-old N.Y.U. dropout Alex Pareene has been forced to live in Washington, D.C. for more than a year now. He took over at Wonkette in January, 2006. That is sad, because D.C. is no place for the young. (Except for the getting robbed. That's good for kids.) I have rectified this situation. As Alex Balk leaves us, although he may be irreplaceable, at least a new Alex shall rise. He starts Monday after next, and will be back in New York as soon as he and his girlfriend (I know, right?) can work that out. It's not like we pay relocation costs or anything. I'm sure they'll find an apartment somewhere Rockaways-adjacent!