This image was lost some time after publication.

Lord Justice Sedley, pictured here looking prim, has ruled that every person living in or visiting the United Kingdom ought to submit his or her DNA to a nationwide criminal database, to offset the presumed bias against "ethnic minorities" who make up the bulk of the existing database. Apparently, this guy is a high-ranking official in the United Kingdom's judicial offices, though you wouldn't guess that based on the ill-fitting getup. (Seriously, polyester hair is so ugh.) Note: An unnamed Valleywag colleague originally misread his name as Smedley, not Sedley. We are all in agreement that the Lord Justice should look into changing his surname for our greater amusement. He can skip the DNA sample, though.