New York Times Critical Shopper stand-in Cintra Wilson takes a look at Phi, the Soho clothier that "showcases the artistry of the meticulously trained Norwegian designer Andreas Melbostad." Then it gets less penetrable: A reader dared us to translate the piece's most harrowing paragraph.

Art Deco is the dominant gene in Mr. Melbostad's inspirations, which fuses the utilitarian ur-sport of 1920s Chanel with a lean toward severe New York sophistication. A Poiret tendency toward Japonisme is evident, as is a smattering of glam-rock anarchism. But, like the best yacht-faring flappers, Phi never indulges to the point of going overboard: it is hot artistic nasty with a clean martini taste, which retains masterful poise even while dancing on the table. In less controlled hands, it might plunge into louche Weimar territory, but Mr. Melbostad sidesteps the vulgar and obvious.

So, uh, no. Maybe they should call the store PhD.

A (Very Poised) Dance on the Table [NYT]