94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

Yesterday, Gizmodo, Gawker Media's "gadget guide," posted an Intel ad (which I sent them) that provoked well over 100 comments from those left-brained sprockets and pulleys folk. So, since I am lazy and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is happening in advertising, I thought I'd post the ad here to get the more creative, media-savvy opinions of Gawker readers.

In the comments of the Gizmodo post, there was quite a bit of e-yelling over the supposed racist/sexist overtones of the above ad, which then (d)evolved into a discussion of the equality of all men or something.

Anyway, I'll now give you my expert, former guest FIT advertising class teacher analysis of it. If you're busy or bored, I invite and strongly encourage you to skip these couple of paragraphs and opine away in the comments.

First off, a creative analysis: The ad's execution is hopelessly hackneyed. Wow, sprinters to represent speed? I've only seen that a couple hundred times over the last 20 years in idiotic business ads. You photoshopped one sprinter into six, and crammed them into a "work" environment so's that I would understand that this is a BUSINESS ad, not an ad for a sports drink. Very subtle. Such a nuanced visualization tells me that you, Intel, are a whip-smart company that I'd be stupid not to throw my money at. If a student put this up on the wall, I'd spit on it, rip it off the wall, wipe my ass with it, and then forcibly jam in into his/her mouth. (Like I said, "former" teacher).

Secondly, is the ad it racist? Yes it is. As a slow white man, it offends me to the core of my whiteness. What, Intel, I need to install your Duo Processor thingy in my computer to have the work-speed of a cloned black sprinter, and thusly appease my khaki-panted boss? You know, sometimes, slow and steady wins the race. (Yeah, I know, the best marathoners are Kenyans. Shut up.) Plus, the black men's rippling musculature forces me to contemplate my own physical inadequacies. Fuck you, Intel.

Like I said, you should have skipped it.

Previously: Good Silly vs. Bad Silly