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The Defamer Special Correspondent on Tarted Up High School Theme Parties Sponsored by the Sons of Hollywood Legends just filed this report on the event thrown by Jason Reitman for his producing partner at the Highlands on Saturday night, where all known fire codes relating to the concentration of slutty schoolgirls in one venue were apparently broken:

This weekend I attended director Jason Reitman's birthday bash for fellow Thank You For Smoking and Hard C Productions partner Daniel Dubiecki. And how did they celebrate the beginning of his momentous 30th year? With lots of hot schoolgirls in short skirts and young, pawing male actors dressed up like Harry Potter/Elvis Costello.

The party's theme was high school reunion and was aptly named 'The Hard C High School Dance', complete with dubious decorations like "I will not spank her ass" written on blackboards, and posters with phrases like "One HARD C. a day keeps the doctor away!" (Get it?). The "young Hollywood insider" demographic was represented in full force, with random celebu-spawn even making the rounds (case in point, Henry Winkler's red haired son Max Winkler, accidentally looking more like Mr. Kotter than Fonzie). The girls were decked out in slutty schoolgirl digs, while the boys looked suspiciously too comfortable in their perfectly pressed schoolboy uniforms (leading me to believe that I was among that private school elite-turned 'my-daddy-funded-my-movie' league). Several of these young heavyweights were eying the girlies around them with only the perviest of intentions (resulting in us having to make several quick getaways), and were getting their groove on to only the most sophisticated Van Halen tunes (Ah, Van Halen, the frat boy classic). If I only had a nickel for every time we heard "So, I'm starting to cast my next movie in just a few weeks if you're interested..." [Rolling eyes]

Unfortunately, our correspondent left the camera at home, but our pals at LAist were on the scene to document the flagrant perversion of Catholic school uniforms on display. Enjoy, pervs.