Every week, Intern Alexis analyzes the results of the Times' Weddings and Celebrations section to figure out who's winning the game of life. Hint: not you!

True, media power couple Pilar Queen and Andrew Sorkin have plenty of industry cred. But they lack the certain indefinable something that makes Avery Gardiner and Edwin U this week's winners. Edwin and Avery were married at Avery's family's summer home in Maine by a former Governor of Maine and both graduated magna cum laude from Harvard where they also received law degrees. Wait, did we say "certain undefinable something"? We meant "enormous piles of money."

Avery Gardiner and Edwin U: 22 points

  • Wedding officiated by former Governor of Maine: +1
  • Couple married at summer home of bride: +2
  • Avery's name is a preppy name: +3
  • Couple both graduated from Harvard: +5
  • Both graduated magna cum laude: +4
  • Both received law degrees from Harvard: +4
  • Avery is a trial attorney in the antitrust division of the Justice Department in Washington: +1
  • Edwin is a litigation partner in the Washington office of Kirkland & Ellis, a Chicago firm: +2
  • N.B. Chick is keeping her name. Uh, OF COURSE SHE IS.
  • Maya Alperowicz and Justin Florence: 20 points
  • Both law clerks for Federal judges: +3
  • Maya graduated summa cum laude from Penn: +4
  • Maya received a law degree from Harvard, cum laude: +4
  • Justin graduated cum laude from Yale: +3
  • Justin received a law degree from Yale: +3
  • Justin received a MA from Harvard: +3

    Samantha Barnes and Gus Christensen: 17 points
  • Samantha's parents are from Greenwich: +1
  • Gus's parents are from New York: +1
  • They were married by an Episcopal priest: +1
  • Both graduated from Yale: +5
  • Samantha has an MBA from Northwestern: +1
  • Gus has an MBA from UPenn: +2
  • Gus is an i-banker: +2
  • His mother is a trustee of the Brooklyn Museum and a director of the Citizens' Committee for Children in Manhattan: +2
  • His father is the chairman of the Prospect Park Alliance and a trustee of the Brooklyn Academy of Music: +2

    Our patented rating system:
  • Investment banker: +2
    Both Investment bankers: +5
    Job involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +1
    Both have jobs involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +3
    Management Consultant: +2
    Both management consultants: +5
    Trader: +2
    Both traders: +5
    Corporate lawyer: +2
    Both corporate lawyers: +5
    Plain lawyer: +1
    Clerk for federal judge: 1
    Works for Defense Department: +2
    Doctor: +2
    Both doctors: +5
    Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
    Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
    New York Times employee: +1
    State Department employee: +2
    Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
    Works in media: +1
    Ivy league graduate: +1 *
    Both ivy league graduates: +3
    Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
    Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
    For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
    Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
    college/university: -1
    If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
    the name: +2
    Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
    Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
    Graduated Cum Laude: +1
    Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
    Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
    Fulbright fellow: +2
    Rhodes scholar: +3
    Couple met online: -1
    Couple met at art opening: 2
    Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
    Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
    Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
    For each member of couple over 35: -1
    Couple married by a Cantor: +1
    Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
    Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
    Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
    specialist/father is a wealthy professional: +3
    If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
    If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
    Bride and groom share a last name before getting married: +2
    The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
    Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
    Descendant of a President: +5
    Descendant of a founding father: +5
    Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
    Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
    per company/org
    Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
    Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
    Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
    If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
    If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
    Couple featured in "Vows" column: +2
    Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
    If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
    If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
    reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
    Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
    Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
    Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
    Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
    Partner in corporate law firm: +3
    Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
    Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2
    Bride/groom works for company founded by parents: +2
    Bride/groom related to a socialite: +2
    Bride/groom's father/mother works for a company bearing his/her last name: +2
    Bride and groom's father/mother share a first name, plus initial: +4
    Married at family's summer home: +2

  • *Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s