As the Observer's Max Abelson ably documented this week, 834 5th Avenue is the center of whiteness in New York City and perhaps in the entirety of the New World. It is in the 14-stories that the coffers of the Old White Dude club are kept. The 24 apartment co-op houses Rupert "The Scoop" Murdoch, Al Taubman, Johnny "The Gut" Gutfreund (the ex-CEO of Salomon Brothers), and a host of scions, heirs, magnates and oligarchs. As with any sausage fest, competition is in the air, so we've gone ahead and taken a close look at our favorites in the building. Let's call it the Great White Out!

Rupert Murdoch In May 2005, the odds on favorite for the competition bought the penthouse triplex for a cool $44 million dollars. In a conservative building, Murdoch is perhaps the most archly conservative resident. Murdoch can boast of being friends with the reigning Whitest Champion (until his death, of course), one Ronald Reagan. On the other hand, the latest of Rupert's many wives is, like, a tenth of his age. Depending on your view of trophy wives, this is either the whitest thing to do or not very white at all.

Al Taubman: Mr. Taubman was, until 2002, the fabulously wealthy owner of Sotheby's. Since then he's done some time in the clink, been rolled through the mud, written a book and apparently done a lot of pheasant shooting. According to Abelson, when he returned home, "he was welcomed as a folk hero." Still, his whiteness credentials are perhaps sullied by his time in prison. In a recent interview, Taubman said, apropos his hard time, "There was a big African-American fellow from Cleveland named Ben who was one of the first friends I made... I became Ben's friend, and he mine. He looked after me and protected me from the start." So Taubman was Ben's punk. Neat! On the other hand, Taubman has proved adept at the old "Some of my best friends are black" rhetorical flourish so often botched among whites.

Harry Crosby: His dad wrote White Christmas AND he was in Friday the 13th!

Stephen Svid: Head of SESAC, Svid "lost out to... Taubman in his bid for Sotheby's. On the other hand, he looks like a albino vampire.

John Gutfreund: Ex. CEO of Salomon Brothers has "a room where he can smoke his cigar," says his wife who also once said, "It's very expensive to be rich." Gutfreund was, for a while in the 80s, known as "the King of Wall St." and once played a game of Liar's Poker for a million dollars.

Who's the whitest man of all? You decide. The winner will get a carton of Wite-Out hand-delivered—through the service entrance of course. —Josh