Joe Francis's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week continued yesterday as he was formally charged on multiple counts for bribing a guard for a bottled water, leading to the discovery of cash and prescription meds in his cell. The AP is quick to remind us, however, that beneath every soft-core mogul and alleged despoiler of teenage virgins lies just a scared little boy and the mother who loves him:
When he learned of the new charges, Joe Francis waived his right to a bond hearing for the contempt of court charge that had led to his being jailed. Francis cried as his mother blew him a kiss while he was led from a federal court room back to his cell.
"I didn't do anything," he told his parents as he was led away, The News Herald of Panama City reported.
Francis, 34, was charged with bribing a public servant, three counts of possessing a controlled substance and five counts of introducing contraband cash and drugs into a detention facility. The charges are third-degree felonies punishable by up to five years in prison.
For those keeping score, 16 pills were confiscated, including lorazepam for anxiety and Lunesta, ensuring that no giant, glow-in-the-dark butterflies are going to sail through Francis's barred window, landing gently on his uncomfortable jail-issue pillow to relieve him from his sleepless nights in lockdown. All the kingpin's men are falling, too: Francis's business partner Scott Barbour was charged with having supplied him with the contraband items, and is scheduled for his first court appearance on Friday—though none of their troubles have yet been updated on the "Legal Fuckage" section of their full-service Mantra Films corporate website.