An explicit photograph circulated the internets recently, featuring what looked to be a kneeling Paris Hilton taking what could only have been a well-deserved break from the rigorous task of attending the needs of an amply endowed, unidentified male. (The photo can be seen here, and if our description hasn't yet made this abundantly clear, it's thoroughly NSFW.) Our initial reaction to seeing the image—that L.A. Superior Courts have rather unorthodox guidelines for what can and should constitute 40 hours of community service—was quickly replaced by skepticism, as something in the trashy manicure, the cheap hotel carpet, the glimmer of enthusiasm behind her lazy eye, said to us, "Photoshop blowjob magic." Still, there will always be a market for this kind of digital artistry, and as the picture wound its way around the web, Hilton's camp became increasingly unamused, ultimately prompting a well-reasoned denial from warhorse flack Elliot Mintz:
Another Paris Hilton sex tape? Photos of the porn-prone heiress in a compromising position with Gnarls Barkley singer Cee-Lo surfaced on MediaTakeOut.com yesterday. But her rep, Elliot Mintz, tells us: "Note the positioning of her hand and the absence of the thumb. It appears to me to be a cut-and-paste job." Well, it's certainly some kind of job! Paris sent along word from "The Simple Life" set that "she's only met [Cee-Lo] once, backstage at a concert."
Mintz makes a strong case for the tampering argument, as every other image of Hilton mid-fellatio to yet surface has prominently featured the party heiress's sturdy thumb, in a trademarked hold she calls the "clutch and anchor." Its absence is a tell-tale fraud giveaway that seems to have eluded the editors MediaTakeOut.com, who have pulled the photo from their site after receiving a strongly worded letter from Hilton's lawyers, and whose tales of Cee-Lo-servicing, for now at least, appear to be untrue—as much as we wanted to believe the recipient out of camera range was breathing heavily in a Darth Vader helmet, and exploded into an ecstatic "Ha ha ha bless your soul" at the precise moment of climax.