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From the first moment we laid eyes upon a Lilliputian, love-advice-dispensing Star Jones, we knew in our hearts that the stifling format of The View wasn't doing nearly enough to showcase everything this wise former D.A. had to offer her viewers. Kudos, then, to Court TV, who has scooped up the deposed daytime monarch to host her very own entertainment/law show. Sporting a brand new makeover (short hair + glasses + pantsuit + a face you can trust = instant credibility!), Jones offers some thoughts on her journey away from The View's hysterics and back into our hearts: Have you spoken to Barbara Walters or anyone else from The View since you left?

Reynolds: I have not. I haven't spoken to anyone from the show. I sometimes get e-mails from Elisabeth Hasselbeck, but that's because we had a very personal relationship. [...] But are you surprised at the direction it's taken?

Reynolds: If that's what their viewers want, then that's where they needed to go. It's not where I would want it to go. That's why I'm doing [Court TV]. I wanted to return to something that allows me to be back where I'm at home. I'm at home talking about the law. I'm at home talking about issues. There's enough mishegas out there that I don't need to add to it.

There you have it, America: You either have an appetite for inverted lesbians and other assorted mishegas, or you belong to the highly coveted Real Engager psychographic, and your talk show viewing time is worthy of the kind of intellectually challenging and socially responsible topics Jones is sure to cover on her as-yet-untitled new show, on a soon-to-be-rebranded basic cable network near you.