This image was lost some time after publication.'s Roger Friedman reports that one of the properties in Dick Wolf's primetime kingdom, Law & Order: Criminal Intent (is that the one with Lilith from Cheers? We lost track eight spinoffs ago.) will once again plunder the tabloids—this time, one of the greatest stories of all—for their latest foray into the world of lazily conceived gripping, ripped-from-the-headlines procedural drama:

Are you ready for the first fictionalized version of the Anna Nicole Smith story on TV? It's coming this May. [...]

[T]he whole demented saga will be filmed shortly for "Law & Order: Criminal Intent." The "Criminal Intent" version of Anna Nicole's life and death will feature Kristy Swanson, the actress who played Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the movie (before Sarah Michelle Gellar did the TV series). Howard K. Stern, they say, could be played by none other than Jon Lovitz. The "CI" writers have excised Larry Birkhead from their story...A combined character based loosely on Anna Nicole's mother and sister is also being contemplated.

Friedman feels the noted B-movie actress and Homewrecker On Ice is an inspired choice to play Anna Nicole, as both bottle-blonde former Playboy models have reputations as polarizing gossip targets. Regardless of how well she channels Smith's clown-faced babbling, however, we think Jon Lovitz's showy turn as her clingy Svengali threatens to ultimately upstage her, particularly in the thrilling courtroom climax when he confesses to murdering the woman he so convincingly professed to love, but that secretly all along, "I was merely acting!"