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Despite his ophidiphobic nephew's insistence that his uncle had merely accidentally tapped some underage boob at a promotional appearance in Colorado, a preliminary hearing has ruled that Vincent 'Don Vito' Margera will be going to trial:

Reality television's Vincent "Don Vito" Margera, uncle of "Viva La Bam" star Bam Margera, was ordered Thursday to stand trial on felony charges that he groped three girls at an MTV promotional appearance.

During a preliminary hearing, prosecutors presented evidence including statements from the girls and photos from their camera phones that Margera, 50, fondled the two 12-year-old girls and the 14-year-old girl, the district attorney's office said in a statement.

Margera was charged with three counts of sexual assault on a child and, if convicted, could face anywhere from probation to six years in prison. He could enter a plea when he is arraigned March 5.

With the mechanized churn of a silk-screening press running off a fresh batch of "FREE VITO" T-shirts humming somewhere in the distance, we thought we'd take this moment to pay YouTube homage to the fallen reality star: This montage features the very best of the gentle, toilet-mouthed giant. No court-ordered punishment for lewd acts committed on minors could come close to the humiliating abuses he experienced at the hands of his tyrant nephew.