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PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in obsessively. Submit yours to tips[AT] (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and impress everyone by breaking Fabio down to his fashion-nightmare fundamentals.

In today's episode: Bruce Willis, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Kevin Pollak, David Arquette, Jason Bateman, Jack Nicholson, Rob Reiner, Lou Adler and Jeremy Piven; James Woods and Ashley Madison; Lindsay Lohan; Quentin Tarantino; Ron Howard; Billy Bob Thornton; Val Kilmer and Aida Turturro; Chloe Sevigny; Jenny McCarthy; Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley; Mike Tyson; Zach Galifianakis; Rob Zombie; Amy Smart and Fabio; David Hockney; Molly Stanton and Jeffrey Jones.

· Seen courtside at what was undoubtedly "boys' night out" at last Friday's [pathetic!] Lakers/Bobcats game:

Bruce Willis sitting between Jeffrey Katzenberg and Kevin Pollak, all wearing baseball caps for obvious reasons; David Arquette looking surprisingly cute in a Ryan Gosling sort of way, in the company of non-famous friends; Jason Bateman, also surprisingly handsome, also with civilians; fixture Jack Nicholson (really bald and old) with Rob Reiner and Cisco Adler's dad Lou Adler; and apparently the only famous guy there out on a date (with a very nondescript brunette woman), Jeremy Piven, who, just like alter-ego Ari, spent half the time on his cell. And it wasn't even a boring game (well, not until the 4th quarter)!

· Thursday, jan 25th, urth cafe on melrose, jeremy piven rubbernecking in his 'rover—funny enough that was a day or two after i caught his appearance on the Regis and Kelly show (defense: I WAS ON THE TREADMILL AT THE GYM!), where he prefaced a statement with "this is probably the most pretentious thing i'll ever say,....blah blah blah"...uh, jeremy, really, somehow i just don't think it will be.....

· On 1/24 @7:30pm, The Grove Theater, a super close encounter: My companions and I were in line at the concession stand when we noticed a rather sullen James Woods standing next to our group, with a very young, skinny, tall blonde girlfriend in tow (Ashley Madison). He literally has a big head. What is it with celebs and their huge noggins? He was complaining (not rudely, but rather vocally) that the automatic concession order stations were not working properly. Many wisecracks about modern technology and stupid corporate exectutives were spewed. Picture a scene from Shark or Casino; now I know for certain that James Woods basically plays himself in every movie. The girlfriend, who did not speak one word during his tirade, was trying unsuccessfully to hide two black eyes and a splint from a very recent nosejob under a baseball cap.

· Lindsay Lohan eating dinner at Koi on Thursday night. If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it! She was there with a few girlfriends, and that guy she takes everywhere, Mike Heller. Then later on closer to 10:30, two gay guys joined her table. She came in and out the back door. She didn't seem to be trying too hard to hide, it was like everything was normal. What the fuck kind of rehab lets you go to Koi for dinner!? She probably got kicked out of rehab. I have heard of a lot of rehabs where you get to do things like use your cell phone, or once-a-week attend outside AA, etc., and those rehabs are considered "easy." I want to know what doctors put their stamp of approval behind dinner at Koi as a healthy therapeutic activity.

· saw Quentin Tarantino at Virgin Megastore on sunset today (around 3:15pm) taking a break from editing Grindhouse. nice guy.

· 1-27 Love the Arclight. In line getting tickets, is Ron Howard.

· Sun, 1/21 - This is coming a little late, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Last Sunday afternoon, I was walking out of the Century City mall food court when out of the corner of my eye I spotted Bad Santa himself in full-on "don't f-ing look my way" Bad Santa mode,looked away and kept walking because I respect his craft and am a tiny bit scared of him. He was several feet away and shielded in a cap and sunglasses, but you know that Billy Bob Thornton mug when you see it. He was with a woman who, even from quite a distance and judging from the back, I could tell was likely too close to his age to be a date.

· First time out on the town since the surgery, I spotted batshit-crazy Val Kilmer on the patio of Il Sole on Sat night (1/27). Dining with an older female, looked businessy. About an hour later Iceman was gone but Tony Soprano's sister (Aida Turturro) was sitting in the same spot, gabbing to a group of friends. Must be the designated celebrity seating area, which is odd because it's probably the most visible table in the place - you basically HAVE to walk by it to get to the host stand. On second thought, maybe that's on purpose. Bob Gersh was there too, but nobody cares about agents, right?

· chloe sevigny showed up for karoke at cha cha last night. so pretty! so normal! I'd tell you more, but drank far too much to collect any further details.

· Tues., Jan. 30 - Jenny McCarthy in the lower-level lingerie department at Saks in BH. Accompanied by an uber stylish Amazonian blonde woman. Jenny cazh in jeans, but tiny and also kind of a tiny head. No lollipop girl there, I'll tell ya.

· saturday, january 27 saw avril lavigne and deryck whibley emerging from the mac store with two parental figures. they are really small in person. also saw the el pollo guy at h&m the same day. the people that work at the store were pretty stoked to see that guy.

· Saturday night, 8:30PM, Borders on La Cienaga (I'm married). Brushing past me on way out... Mike Tyson. At a book store. On Saturday night. Seemed nice enough (?), but never in a thousand-million years would you want to fight that man.

· Saw horror faux-teur Rob Zombie and his wife (?) Sheri in Larchmont Village on Saturday. He needs a bath.

· 1/28, 12:30 p.m. Saw the heavily hirsute, somewhat underachieving Comedians of Comedy stalwart Zach Galifianakis leaving Joni's Coffee Roasting Cafe in Marina Del Rey. He got into a green Subaru with a brunette who was entirely too hot for him. No leftover Sunday brunch was immediately visible in his ChiaBeard.

· 1-28-07 My boyfriend and I were at the Whole Foods on Fairfax and Santa Monica to pick up some dinner. As soon as we walked in, my boyfriend went crazy over a stringy, tapered-jean-wearing, thin-haired girl who appeared as if she hadn't seen a bottle of conditioner in three weeks. Excitedly he grabbed my arm to come look at Amy Smart, however, I was extremely underwhelmed. Standing before me was a cancer patient with over-processed, unnatural black witch hair. She looked like a waif in a ratty sweatshirt picking out string beans (apparently it's the new south beach diet). Anyway, she was nothing to write home about. The cash register boy said it best himself, "Yah, she comes here all the time... she looks like shit". As a side note, while we were checking out, I offered to pay for our meal as Fabio turned to me squinting in his tight LA Choppers jersey, high cut washed out Levi's, and his very 2005 cowboy boots. I don't know about you, but I can believe it's not butter.

· leaving a lunch meeting at Hugos yesterday 1-25 around 2pm i was walking down to the parking lot next door and i saw a cute old guy standing with a group of young cute guys i had to walk through them and i looked up to see David Hockney smoking with his little cap on and that wonderful voice. I hadn't seen him out in a long time, looks older, but oh so amazing!

well that is my first sighting the way my meeting sucked.

· Everything around me in the strip mall was in Spanish. I was terrified, and trying to find The Good Chiropractor (flying cross country 8 million times in a middle seat is rough). Ray of sunshine, even at 9am on a Saturday, Molly Stanton — the hetero twin from Twins (way back when we still had the WB), holding an icy Starbucks, like a vision, bounded in to the office. People who can move freely should not be chipper around grouchy, non-Starbucks anointed people who just want caffeine and an adjustment.

· Yesterday (1-24) saw Jeffrey Jones dining at Chan Darette, on Pico in West LA. He is ginormous and looks really...bad, to be frank. I guess he's old now. My dining companion remarked, didn't he suffer from some health issues recently? I didn't recall that, but I do remember something about him being busted for downloading underage porn. Classy! Jeffrey dined with two older male companions, they looked like they were having a good time.