We reported earlier in the month that the Voice's erstwhile Lusty Lady had been unceremoniously kicked to the curb, and speculated as to the Ivy League alumnity of her replacement. Boy, were we off. Instead, the Voice decided to take a page from the book that's working out so totally well for New York: letting married breeders gross us all out with overshares. One kink in their plan, though: these sex columnists don't seem to be, uh, getting any?

"Morning sex?" I manage. It comes out more hostile than I plan, though Carmichael barely notices. Why should she? She just had morning sex. "Oh my God, yes! Morning sex. Like a high school senior. It is too incredible. I had sex with my husband and I liked it." I stare at her, incredulous. I haven't had sex, morning or otherwise, in three months. Neither had she. I trusted her. I know it's a free country and people have sex in it. Apparently even my best friend. But still. How dare she?

Jesus, it's like the reunion episode of Sex and The City enacted by your local community theater.

Married, Not Dead [Voice]