Joe Francis Does Not Compute
Girls Gone Wild founder and drive-by dildo victim Joe Francis pleaded guilty yesterday to two felony counts of violating federal record-keeping laws, as he had failed to document the ages of the girls featured in his videos. Earlier this month, Francis admitted to using minors in his last two DVDs (but if they were just soaping each other, is that a crime?); he pleaded guilty to 10 similar felony counts in Panama City, paying $1.6 million in fines. God only knows what he owes in New Orleans and Fort Lauderdale.
Yesterday's plea is part of an agreement with the Justice Department; Francis has agreed to pay $500K to settle the feds' charges. But before we dismiss Francis as a exploitative and sexually aggressive perv who deserves a life of destitution in which he is forced to show cameramen his tits just so he might get a scrap of food, let's take a moment to see his human side:
The 33-year-old Francis spent about 30 minutes in the downtown Los Angeles courtroom. He stood before U.S. District Judge Margaret M. Morrow with his hands tucked in his pockets, shifting from foot to foot, responding briskly to the judge's questions.
But when Morrow asked Francis if he understood that, given the felonies he was admitting to, he could be sentenced to as many as 10 years in prison, he seemed surprised. "Um, I don't understand that," he said.