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I don't want him to go over the Reichenbach Falls.

- Stephen King, expressing his hope that J.K. Rowling will not kill off Harry Potter in the last book of the eponymous series, by alluding to the death scene of Sherlock Holmes written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Ian Spiegelman: Try missionary once in awhile; you might be surprised.

Chuck Klosterman: Comparing Dee Dee Ramone to some punk from Ratt? You should be gnawed by rats, asshole.

Deborah Schoeneman: Up here in Bangor, gossip tends to revolve around lobstering and axe-murdering. Pick either.

Kate White: If it's right there in the title, someone's thighs better actually catch on fire by chapter three.

James Frey: Smoke crack.

J.T. Leroy: Exist.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: Ah, go ahead and toss that fucker over Reichenbach Falls.

Don't kill Harry Potter, authors urge Rowling [Reuters]

[Photo: Getty Images]