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After winning 74 consecutive games of Jeopardy! and snatching $2.52 million, Joseph Smith's most chosen disciple Ken Jennings has a few suggestions for the classic game show, which he likens to the "Dorian Gray of syndication":

First up, the categories. Maybe when Art Fleming was alive, America just couldn't get enough clues about "Botany" and "Ballet" and "The Renaissance," but come on. Does every freaking category have to be some effete left-coast crap nobody's heard of, like "Opera," or, um, "U.S. History" or whatever? I mean, wake me up when you come up with something that middle America actually cares about. I think it would rule if, just one time, Alex had to read off a board like:

• PlayStation

• The Arby's 5-for-$5.95 Value Menu

• Reality TV

• Men's Magazines

• Skanks from Reality TV Who Got Naked in Men's Magazines

• Potpourri

As if a mormon's understanding of the FHM slut du jour is going to put his kids through college. Thus Jennings' words are in jest; alas, Michael Starr's response in yesterday's Post didn't quite grasp that. But what did Jennings expect? The Post has a feeble grasp of these things — it's not like you'd see Starr raping and pillaging Alex Trebek's piggy bank.

Dear Jeopardy! [Ken Jennings via AP]
Sense of Humor, Meet Michael Starr [Ken Jennings]