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Hey, all you people who care about stories of "national importance," breathlessly awaiting your fancypants indictments for CIA leaks. Hollywood's got its own problems, thank you very much, as its collective face turns blue waiting for indictments to be handed down in the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century, when we will finally find out which of the industry's players wind up groped by the cold hand of scandal. The NY Times runs down the all-star roster of names tied up in the case against the eavesdroppingest private detective in town:

Those questioned include, to name a few, Kevin Huvane and Brian Lourd, two top partners at Creative Artists Agency, the dominant Hollywood talent agency; Michael S. Ovitz, the onetime president of the Walt Disney Company who previously headed Creative Artists; Ron Meyer, the president of Universal Studios and a former partner at Creative Artists, who was called before the grand jury to discuss his friendship with Mr. Pellicano; Brad Grey, the chairman of the Paramount Motion Pictures Group, who formerly headed Brillstein-Grey Entertainment; and Bert Fields, the entertainment lawyer, who has said he employed Mr. Pellicano countless times as an investigator but was not aware of any wiretapping.

Sure, Washington's scandal might "matter," but we think ours is much prettier, and in the end, that's what really matters. Who do you think George Clooney's going to want to play in a live, black-and-white CBS movie of the week, a grown man named "Scooter" or dashing studio head Brad Grey?