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• Jessica and Ashlee Simpson cancel their People mag-sponsored VMA party after the magazine refuses to foot the bill, which would have included $20,000 for Jessica's hair and makeup. You don't even want to know how much it would've cost to spackle Ashlee. [Page Six]
• Just what you didn't want: The Tom Sizemore sex tape. [R&M]
Spy founder and food model Kurt Andersen has reportedly sold his upstate NY farm to Chelsea art dealer Anton Kern, thus ensuring that we'll never again have to endure another Martha Stewart Living feature on his perfectly pastoral life. [Page Six]
• Demi Moore talks about naked cuddle time with Ashton Kutcher and reveals her breastfeeding tips. [NYDN]
• Journos at the Wall Street Journal are bitching about the staffers brought in to make the upcoming Saturday lifestylish pages worth reading. Major props to the disgruntled fellow who referred to the new recruits as "the JV team." Very junior year 1997, that one. [Gatecrasher (2nd item)]
• Not like you needed more proof that fans of Clay Aiken are reaching new heights in crazy, but now they're touring the American Idol star's home. Online. [Scoop]