We were always a little bit suspicious that Katie Holmes' slavish devotion to Tom Cruise is some kind of post-hypnotic suggestion, subconsciously implanted by a innocent-seeming jaunt to Whole Foods spent listening to Dianetics on tape. After reading this W profile of Holmes, we're absolutely positive she's been mesmerized:
"From the moment I met him," she continues, "it just felt like I'd known him forever. I was blown away. He's the most incredible man. He's so generous and kind, and he helps so many people, and, um, he makes me laugh like I've never laughed, and he's a great friend.…"
This is how the conversation begins; this is also how it continues, and how it ends. No question can do much to change its course.
Do you worry that this might be a rebound romance for either of you?
"I've never met anyone like Tom," Holmes replies, her beautiful green eyes focused on nothing in particular.
Do you ever wonder whether this is just a honeymoon phase?
"Tom and I will always be in our honeymoon phase."
Did you learn anything in your previous relationship (five years with actor Chris Klein, which came to an end when they called off their engagement this past winter) that has been a benefit to this one?
"Chris and I care about each other and we're still friends. Tom is the most incredible man in the world."
The signs are all there: the faraway look in her eyes, the affectless repetition, the inability to stray off-message. There's nothing left for us to do except hope that the post-hypnotic suggestion has unexpected, amusing side-effects, like if every time Holmes hears a telephone ring, she's compelled to bark like a dog, then recite all of Jonathan Lipnicki's dialogue from Jerry Maguire.