Each year at upfronts time, Les Moonves likes to invite the press over for an informal chat over bagels, during which he's known to take out his penis, slap it down among the lox and cream cheese, then swing the sloppy member around the room without concern for who it hits in the face. The NYT's Virignia Heffernan notes who got a faceful of junk in her "Upfronts Journal" (which, like the LAT's "Web Notebook," should not be mistaken for a blog):
The co-president of Viacom is known for his charm with the press, for whom this meeting is arranged annually. He should also be known for his contempt for NBC. Having joked about the macabre overtones of the word "unveiling," Mr. Moonves said that it might have been the mot juste to describe the television schedule announced on Monday — at NBC's upfront.[...]
"We're happy to give Jeff Zucker his only hit this year," Mr. Moonves continued, referring to the president of NBC Universal and "Medium," a successful drama for that network that was produced by Paramount, which is owned by Viacom.
This aggression will not stand! When Jeff Zucker gets around to smoothing out the veiny impression that Moonves' manhood left across his bald pate, there needs to be some retaliation. But he'd better move quickly, as Moonves certainly isn't above teabagging his NBC rival with taunts about Father of the Pride while Zucker tries to figure out whether or not he can have Julie Chen deported.