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ABC announced its Fall lineup at the upfronts, and prominent among their new offerings is Commander-in-Chief, in which Geena Davis (the lousy housekeeper from Family Ties) becomes our country's first female president:

"It's not a political story," said Stephen McPherson, ABC entertainment president. "It's the story of a woman; it's the story of a wife; it's the story of a family."

Whew, what a close call! For a second there, we thought that ABC was going to try and tell us women know something about politics. It will certainly be a relief to all of ABC's viewers that they're just setting Desperate Housewives in the White House and leaving all of that pointy-headed gub'ment stuff to the book-larned menfolk. Other takes on Desperate Housewives designed to keep ABC's ratings momentum lurching forward:

Hot Properties: Desperate Housewives as a sitcom and moved to a real estate office in New York;
Invasion: Housewives, if Martha Cross were an alien;
Freddie: Freddie Prinze Jr masturbates to a freeze frame of Eva Longoria and cries himself to sleep, full of angst that his wife demanded that he finally get a job, even if it will only last three episodes;
My Wife and Kids: Desperate Housewives, but a sitcom and canceled

As expected, the network didn't fiddle with its world-beating Sunday night schedule, content to let their competitors line up to be bent over the Extreme Makeover/Housewives log and made to squeal like second-place pigs.