Jessica Simpson: 'Bum Steer'
Well, it ain't TIME's "Person of the Year," but Jessica Simpson has the honor of being named "Bum Steer of the Year" by Texas Monthly.
She joins illustrious past winners like Matthew McConaughey and Anna Nicole Smith, both of whom were nice enough to turn themselves into punchlines for our amusement and edification.
Is it even possible to play bongos naked without thinking of McConaughey? Can you not think of Smith whenever your aunt gets so drunk she slurs her words and pops out of her dress? (Which reminds us: Christmas is almost here.) And now Simpson, who put her genius-level IQ on the line to be the butt of every dumb blond joke known to man.
Congratulations, Jessica! Don't ever let anyone say you didn't earn this award. You did—and you made it look so easy.
Texas Monthly [Jan. '05 issue on newsstands soon]