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We genuinely feel sorry for Joey star Matt LeBlanc. It's bad enough that he's eternally typecast as a mildly retarded guy, but now he's been forced to go on the record to the National Enquirer to refute rumors that his former chauffeur arranged for him to have gay sex with gay hustlers in the back of a limo.

"I have never asked to be set up with gay hustlers.

"It's absolutely not true. I am not bisexual. I am not gay. I have never had sex with men. Setting the record straight is not only important because of me and my life, but also because of my family...[The chauffeur] drove me on a few occasions. When he says he hooked me up for gay sex, it's a 100 per cent lie...He was not employed by me. I was uncomfortable with him so I stopped using him."

LeBlanc is mired in a classic Catch-22 of celebrity. If he didn't set the record straight on the gay-sex-with-gay-hustlers-in-the-back-of-a-limo rumors, his silence could be construed as implicitly endorsing their truth. But by having to say the words "gay hustlers" in a magazine like the Enquirer, he's painting a mental picture that looks a lot like, well, the one that the Enquirer is running next to his denials. Maybe it really is better to follow the Tom Cruise route and sue the accuser back to the Industrial Revolution.