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Reconstructed Version of Last Night's Events Based (Loosely) Upon the Words of the Friend With Whom I Had Dinner at Giorgione:
"Gabriel Byrne at the bar? Where?"
"What? Gabriel Byrne is not sexy. Ew."
"All right, you can quit referring to Gabriel Byrne as your 'boyfriend' now."
"Hey, look, he's chatting up a much younger woman!"
"Oh, stop. That does not 'bode well for you.'"
"So he 'eye contacted' you. So what. Sooooo fucking what. Drink your port."
"No I don't want to go play with the go-go boys at Slide."
"Because I'm neither male nor gay."
"No, it's not 'irrelevant.'"

[Editor's note: As a general rule, I find celebs in restaurants I frequent more annoying than interesting, as they remind me of Hollywood and all that is vile and irritating about the West Coast. Exceptions to this rule are Gabriel Byrne, Gabriel Byrne, and Gabriel Byrne.

I don't know why, either.]