
The Internet’s Fake Quote Machine Keeps Attributing This Corny Line to My Mother
She never would have said the quote that is commonly attributed to her.

Here’s What Some People Think About Gawker Coming Back

I Learned How To Write Funnier

The Mystery of the Bathroom Trash Can

Welcome to Gawker
F-Word (Father) Matt Damon Retires F-Slur
British Bird Lovers Demand Truth From Prince Harry
Osama bin Laden's Erection Secret
Londoners Being Very Ungrateful About Their Shitty Dirt Mound
Accents Are Hard
Teigen Tales: Do You Want to See Chrissy Teigen's Boob Scars?
The Ballad of Matt Gaetz Taking Two Dates To a GOP Fundraiser in 2018
What happens in Orlando gets revisited three years later on a blog
The Nose
Every famous white woman has it
Do Justin and Hailey Bieber Hate Each Other?
And what does God think about that?
Celeb corner
Timothée Chalamet's Spittle Landed on Me at China Chalet
I have made direct contact with the boy king's saliva.
Teigen Tales: Do You Want to See Chrissy Teigen's Boob Scars?
The Nose
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Prefer to Keep an Unwashed Family
Remember When Pete Doherty Went to Rehab Wearing Two Hats
Leo DiCaprio's Girlfriend's Summer Reading List
This Is How You Do a Boyfriend Reveal
Golf’s Favorite Cocktail is Now My Favorite Cocktail
The Mystery of the Bathroom Trash Can
Hi Glenn Greenwald, Would You Like To Buy My Substack?
Were You a Pleasure to Have in Class?
Descriptors Used to Praise Writers, Ranked
Welcome to the World, Repulsive Little Panda Cub
Lying is Fun
And that’s the truth.
Replace All Child Actors with Adults in Motion-Capture Suits
The technology is there
Worst Lede of Last Month: Kevin Durant Doesn’t Care About This Glacier
You telling me that just took me down a deep hole
I Do Not Care if Aliens Exist
That’s none of my business.
MISSION: LOCATE AND DESTROY THE UKULELES
Zero Dark Thirty? More like Zero Dark You are Thirty and time to throw away the tiny bitch guitar.
Why Was Mr. Big at the White House?
If you’re tired, you take a Napa, you don’t go to the White House.
What Will Sick Joker Freak Luke Bryan Buy for Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton?
You know he’s going off-registry
What Did Brock Pierce Buy For $25,000 At a New Americana Restaurant
Brock Pierce spent his evening in Southampton's 75 Main
More Things to Read
Huh, Looks Like a Shorter Workweek Worked for Iceland…
Seems like this success could be replicated anywhere
Are Movies Dying?
I Learned How To Write Funnier
Hi Glenn Greenwald, Would You Like To Buy My Substack?
Everything
F-Word (Father) Matt Damon Retires F-Slur
Please update your Matt Damon slur log.
British Bird Lovers Demand Truth From Prince Harry
Remember, remember, the 24th of October
Osama bin Laden's Erection Secret
This one simple trick kept him virile
Londoners Being Very Ungrateful About Their Shitty Dirt Mound
Really makes you question whether some people deserve a dirt mound at all.
Accents Are Hard
And these men shouldn't do them.
Teigen Tales: Do You Want to See Chrissy Teigen's Boob Scars?
Doesn't matter here they are
A Retail Worker Has Probably Wanted to Punch You
Yes, even if you think you're one of the "good ones."
I Guess We're on Scarlett Johansson's Side?
Just if we have to pick.
MTA Honors Disability Activist With Plaque and 337 Missing Elevators
Consider installing elevators
Nice People Can Be Annoying, Too
It’s called intersectionality.
Man Ages
Fred Durst edition
UAE Making It Rain By Zapping Clouds with Drones
Dubai’s indoor ski mountain has nothing on ominous new weather machines