Posts Tagged “
Religion
”5WPR Flacks Get So Freaking Busted Impersonating People Online
We call 5WPR chief Ronn [sic] Torossian an "incompetent superflack" for a reason, people. He and his firm are not just annoying; they are actually incompetent at the practice of public relations. The latest, and sweetest evidence: 5WPR just got stone-cold busted for impersonating people (including a Rabbi!) in a blog comments section on behalf of a (soon-to-be-former, if they're smart) client. We have an email in to Ronn for comment, but this evidence makes a pretty good case that 5W is a bunch of mindless trolls: More »Girl-On-Girl Singer's Shameful Christian Past
Katy Perry has a big dance hit with her pseudo-lesbian-curious song "I Kissed A Girl." The singer has been clawing for a break since at least 2001, and it turns out that before discovering the celebrity-making power of girl-on-girl tongue this year, and even before trying to win fame via her "really big boobs" in 2004, Perry pitched herself as a Christian singer. Her debut album was released under her prior recording name, Katy Hudson, and included gospel songs like "Faith Won't Fail" and "Last Call," the latter featuring the phone number for the church where her father was a pastor. UPDATE: Here's what Perry, still in her holy music phase, told Alison Rosen of Seventeen magazine about premarital sex: More »Godless Brits Welcome Godlessness
Those Britishers. First they cast off the Pope. Then they make the royal family just a bunch of symbolic bobble-heads with questionable DNA. Now they're out to get rid of religion altogether! Is nothing sacred to these people? "More than half of Britons think Christianity is likely to have disappeared from the country within a century, according to a survey. Research by the Orthodox Jewish organisation Aish found that just over a third of people thought religions like Christianity and Judaism would still be practiced in Britain in 100 years' time. Although four in 10 people said they would choose to be a member of the Christian religion, almost the same number said they would rather practice no religion at all." More »Virgin Mary To Be Immortalized In the Style of Rent
Because Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar, and hippie fag fest Godspell weren't religiousy enough, a new (kid-tested) Pope-approved musical called Mary of Nazareth will belt its way around Europe, Latin America, and (gasp!) some Middle Eastern countries starting on June 17th, in the Vatican. "'We have sponsored this work with pleasure because Mary of Nazareth is the woman who has communicated and still communicates to mankind today the word of God made man," said a Vatican official of the work. "Plus, she no have-a da sex," he added. It's always nice when the Church approves singing and dancing. We're looking forward the novelization of this fascinating story. Oh and then the movie of the novelization with John Travolta, Jennifer Hudson, and Harvey Fierstein. Also, this must mean that Muhammad: The Musical is forthcoming, right? No? No, not at all? OK. I see. More »Jesus Gyms: Helping To Ease Christians Out Of The Mainstream
You love working out. You love Jesus. But gyms are such meat markets: sweaty, sculpted, sexy bodies everywhere, driving your brain crazy thinking about... not the church bake sale, if you know what we mean. (Sex). So what to do? Where can you go? Is this all a setup leading into a trend story about the astounding success of a Christian-themed gym located, predictably, in Florida? God yes! And furthermore, we think it's great: More »Celebrity Jesus: Original Gangster Version
Hey kids: you think Catholicism is all about musty old churches and child-molesting priests? Think again, yo! Everything that you think is cool came from a man named g-o-d—including blunt-smoking gangster rapper Snoop Dogg. Deify him! But he's not the only one of you young peoples' false idols who came from the Godmeister. That's right, Sienna Miller did too! These two ads from the Australian version of Marie Claire are supposed to promote the Catholic Church's upcoming World Youth Day. 1-8-7 with a gat in your mouth, Jesus! Gaze upon the full versions of two [REAL] horrifying ideas of youth outreach: More »McCain's Crazy Pastor Turns To Ronn [sic] Torossian For Counsel
So, who's the latest shady character being represented by incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian's PR firm? It's Pastor John Hagee, the John McCain-supporting zealot who's currently under fire for saying "in a late 1990s sermon that the Nazis had operated on God's behalf to chase the Jews from Europe and shepherd them to Palestine." Hagee—a strident supporter of Israel, to the point of insanity—argued that Hitler was a "hunter" sent by god to help get the Jews back to the promised land. It's a good thing that he's retained the steady hand of 5WPR to help him through this controversy: More »London Police Protect Scientology From Teen's Sign
The Brits are rather less enthusiastic about the whole "free speech" concept than the US is. A 15-year-old kid was holding a sign that said "Cult" at one of the Anonymous protests against Scientology in London. The precocious young scalawag had even memorized a 1984 UK court ruling in which a judge called the science fiction-based religion a "cult." But the police gave him a summons and confiscated his dangerous slogan-bearing poster, and now he has to go to court to defend himself. More »Jesus Will Carry You To A Good Lawyer
You've surely seen a copy of it on the walls of your local Sunday school, A.A. meeting, or weed-filled hipster apartment, ironically: Footprints in the Sand, the mawkish little poem/ parable about Jesus carrying you when you couldn't carry yourself. The work has become a gold mine of merchandising opportunities, which is what everyone, including Jesus, really cares about (sandals aren't free). So naturally three different people have been squabbling for years over who wrote it. Now, the son of one proclaimed author is taking the other claimants to court for copyright infringement. Sigh. It would really be tidier if Jesus could just settle this himself. After the jump, the three slightly different versions of the poem that claim to be the original. One thing we can all agree on is that god needs to pick more creative messengers: More »
holy war
Old White People Know the Truth About Barack Obama
West Virginia just keeps outdoing itself! The state—which is separate from regular Virginia because they used to like black people—is expected to overwhelmingly support Hillary Clinton in tonight's primary. Because Senator Clinton has been quite effective in drumming up support among older, blue-collar voters, yes, but also because Barack Obama is a Muslim and a terrorist who will enslave the white race and probably suicide bomb the White House. In the clip above, a voter explains that she can't support a Muslim. The reporter half-assedly attempts to correct her. Our voter will have none of it. Doesn't anyone remember Barack Obama's crazy black Christian preacher? There's more! More »Antisemitism: Cool Again!
When we were young, we assumed "The Hamptons" had something to do with a cartoon pig—now we are older and wiser and we know that it's a place on Long Island where rich people go, even though they can surely afford to go somewhere other than Long Island. Turns out, they're just going there to get away from all the goddamn Jews! More »Why Did Everyone Get Upset When Barack Obama Said Poverty Made Poor White People Go Crazy Again?
Local politicians say it will take more than a well-decorated storefront for Obama, the Illinois senator, to make headway. "He's going to have to visit," says Bob Pasley, who adds that Obama should come prepared to answer "tough questions," including some about his religion.[USAToday]
"Is he Islamic or is he not?" Pasley says of Obama, who is Christian. "I know he's tried to talk about it but he hasn't looked anybody in Wayne in the eye and told them."









