1. Start the right kind of blog.

Your personal blog isn't good enough. Book deals for personal, story-telling blogs fizzled out a few years ago. There's just too much research for the publisher and no guarantee of mass appeal. The latest book deals look more like movie deals: A conceptual hook will draw people in even if some of the jokes fall flat. There are three kinds of blogs that recently got deals:

A. Whimsical Recognizable Aspects Of Everyday Life
Examples: Stuff White People Like, Postcards From Yo Momma
Likable, easy-to-understand blogs with a regular format. The title explains the whole concept. Make an idea you can explain in one short sentence. It's easy to market, easy to remember, easy to get blogged.
Suggestions: Ideas I Had In The Shower; Things My Kids Said

B. Unique Life Story That's Actually Many Short Stories
Example: The Secret Diary Of Steve Jobs
This is very tough, and I don't personally recommend it. You must either be a famous or extraordinary person or impersonate one. But you have to be a great writer too — there are two sites full of terrible spoof blogs.
Suggestions: Fake Obama; How I Was Actually Raised By Wolves

C. Tiny Works Of Art
Examples: Indexed, Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle, I Can Has Cheezburger
The perfect grist for a coffee-table or "tiny" book. "Indexed" is just little jokes in the form of graphs, "Cheezburger" is of course photos with captions, and "Obama" is simply random slogans about how much the presidential candidate is a cool guy, kind of like "Chuck Norris Facts" (which also got a book deal). Again, stick to one format and fully explore it. If doing the same thing over and over wasn't a path to success, you'd never hear of Jackson Pollock or Dilbert.
Suggestions:

2. Discover yourself.
After a couple of weeks, you should have enough material to start spreading your blog around. Don't just wait to get discovered, but don't overmarket yourself. Put a copy of your blog on Tumblr and LiveJournal for readers that wouldn't otherwise follow you. (Since I started reading Tumblr blogs I find myself checking other blogs less.) Start following other people on those sites, which is less crass than commenting on normal blogs and putting your URL in your signature.
If your blog catches on there, you can start submitting to bigger blogs. But you might want to have a friend do it. I have a few regular tipsters who point me to good blogs by their friends. I'm more likely to follow their leads than someone self-promoting. Still, a well-written e-mail to Gawker's tipline might get you a mention. Same goes for Boing Boing. By that point linkbloggers like Jason Kottke and Rex Sorgatz will notice you if you're worthy.
If you do self-promote and no one picks it up, start over. (If you're reading this article, you're not in it for the love.)
Meanwhile back on your blog, don't stop writing. I stupidly gave up on my blog Bad Idea A Day just when people started to notice it. Now I'm restarting and I have to earn my readership from scratch. Also, have an about page so you're ready for Step 3.

3. Ask to meet an agent.
If your idea is wildly successful but no agent has called, find Kate Lee. The agent (who doesn't have an easily googleable home page) was profiled in the New Yorker in 2004 when blog book deals were still novel. Though Gawker didn't think the trend would stick, Lee kept selling blogger books. Last year she sold blogger Rachel Sklar's Jew-ish; this week she sold Postcards From Yo Momma, written by Jessica Grose of Jezebel and Gawker alum Doree Shafrir.
Of course you could talk to other agents; White People was sold by William Morris's Erin Malone.

So did it work? If not, try again. If so, go to hell you lucky bastard. I'll be spitting at you during your reading, next to the guy from White Whine.

Editor-at-large at Washingtonian and founding blogger at FishbowlDC Garrett M. Graff's THE FIRST CAMPAIGN: the Democrats and the Digital Age, following the efforts of Mark Warner, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, and others to position themselves for the 2008 nomination, and the candidates' efforts to update the party's themes and outlook for the age of globalization, to Paul Elie at Farrar, Straus, for publication in fall 2007, with updates via the web through Election Day 2008, by Timothy Seldes at Russell & Volkening.

We've always found Graff to be perfectly charming and friendly, and we wish him the best. But we are surprised by one thing: Why is he not represented by Kate Lee?

Oh, and speaking of book news: This one wasn't in the weekly update, but we hear Harper's senior editor and flash mobs creator Bill Wasik has sold a nonfiction book on the flash-mob phenomenon. We just hope it's really an actual book. Because if it turns out this "news" is merely a sociological experiment/commentary on deindividuation and literary scenesterism, well, then we'll feel like shnooks.

Earlier: Flash Mob Inventor Tells All

NON-FICTION: HUMOR
Huffington Post contributor (and former Fishbowl blogger) Rachel Sklar's JEW-ISH, a guide to understanding the difference between a shiksa and a latke, and why there are so many ways to spell Chanukah, pitched as something like AMERICA: THE BOOK, except about Jews, and what it takes to be a good one, or a good-ish one (now go call your mother!), to Matthew Benjamin at Collins, by Kate Lee at ICM (world English).

We wish a hearty mazel tov to both Rachel and Kate, and we eagerly await the sure-to-be-forthcoming subsequent books in the Sklarian series: THE YEAR OF SAYING YES TO JON STEWART, FISH PUNS FOR DUMMIES, and, of course, CANADA: THE BOOK (pitched as AMERICA: THE BOOK, except about Canada).

Only one quick-moving man. A tipster reports:

Weekend Sighting: Saturday morning, Le Pain Quotidien, in the Village. Gawker staple DAVID KUHN, breakfasting with prosecutor/blogger DAVID LAT. I smell a book deal.

Kuhn, we'll remind you, netted D-Nasty Dana Vachon his $650K advance.

Poor Kate Lee.

Related: Scotus Watch [NYer]

First, that it's remarkable how many of these bar mitzvah pictures like precisely like our own, from the hey-look-at-my-sign-in-board pose to the mouth-agape mom being lifted in a chair to the "hands up, baby, hands up" crowd, complete with giveaway necklaces and sunglasses. Second, that while there are several people included in the book who we know as adults, there is only one who we knew at the time of her bat mitzvah, which proves that Essex County, New Jersey, is woefully underrepresented. Third, that MTV's pre-Seth Cohen geek-chic king, Gideon Yago, shared our Torah portion, though a year or two later. And, finally, fourth, and most important: That we're incredibly pleased the pictures of our bar mitzvah remain secure in mom and dad's den in New Jersey.

Because unlike agent-to-the-blogstars Kate Lee, we don't think we could handle the world seeing pictures (like above) of our 13-year-old self.

(In fairness to no-longer-in-an-awkward-stage Kate, a then-and-now montage awaits after the jump.)

Bar Mitzvah Disco [Official site]

You know, the publishing industry is such a wondrous magical place — like Disneyland, but on ecstasy! — that of course bloggers want in...

For instance: it only takes most publishers 18 to 24 months to publish a book! They also have these innovative ideas of promotion — for instance, as a Published Author, you might be allowed to fly yourself to Chicago and/or Miami to read to an audience of 12 or 13 people at a Barnes and Noble! And when your Kirkus and/or Publisher's Weekly reviews come out, and their wild praise contains one critical note, suddenly the PR people at your publisher are occupied with other projects — and your $20,000 advance doesn't earn out and everyone scratches their heads in puzzlement.

It's the most retarded shell game on earth — and the most technophobic, ass-backwards, financially-dumb-headed industry in the world. Our prediction: first blogger book: $140K advance. Second blogger book: $700K advance. Third blogger book: $15K advance. None earn out, the shark gets jumped, and then it's contract publishing gigs for all, and some God-awful ghost-writing gigs, which results in yet more bitter alcoholic blather on weblogs. Enjoy the hype, little bloggers. Take your advances and buy stock in Halliburton while you can.

Anyway, guess we'll find out when Kate sells her first book. Ah, the hype before the storm.

Wait — doesn't anyone want to see my book proposal? Hello?
A Book In You [New Yorker]