Gawker
After noting the hullabaloo regarding Amazon.com's defiance in continuing to sell cockfighting magazines, we asked for your help in locating even more objectionable periodicals that Amazon enthusiastically pimps for purchase. You responded with gusto, and we present a gallery of favorites after the jump.
Red Scream - Everyone's favorite hot zombie goth chick cannibalism niche publication.
Paddles - They've taken this kink for a 100-issue ride, and no one's stopping them now. Hard to believe with cover art of this quality, which looks like a rejected New Yorker cartoon. Write your own caption!
A Bear's Life - For someone dubbed "Mr. International Bear 2006," cover bear Pedro Veral sure likes to recline on a big, fluffy, cushy comforter. One would think that his shedding would really show up on that thing. (Perhaps that's the point.)
Racing Pigeon Bulletin - "Butch Poppa" really sounds like someone from the pages of A Bear's Life.
Lubes-n-Greases - Finally, you no longer need buy separate magazines to get the latest news on lubes or greases.
American Cooner - Well, there's the name, for starters. Just doesn't sit right, to use the vernacular. Though it is fun to say.
Sheep! - We're sorry, but this is quite obviously the best magazine ever produced, anywhere. The name says it all, with authority. Then you got a "ewe" pun right there on the cover; how often does a sheep magazine use that joke? We're guessing, every issue, repeatedly. Then there's the hot power-shearing pictorial, bum-lamb feeding, and for God's sake, "Postmortem semen extraction." Why the hell are you still reading Harper's Weekly?
Comments
Like I said before, I'd rather read about cocks fighting than bears discussing throw pillows. That's far more damaging to society.
Coffee everywhere. Must. Supress. Giggles.
Worryingly, Amazon does not carry Modern Ferret magazine, a popular favorite, but they do have old-fashioned Ferret. This customer review could really apply to all of the magazines here, from Sheep to Bears to Lubes-n-Greases:
I love the Magazine. I love the articales. Yes,in some countrys they use ferrets to chase rabbits out of holes,but it is NOT done in the United States. All magazines you are going to see things you like and dislike. This is a good starter magazine with general information in it. I love the pictures and stores. I find the cute and amuzing. Some of information is sad,and some is general information, some is scetchy.You should go to your Vet. if your concerned about your ferret. Don't take it personal, it's a magazine, not a way to raise your ferret.
Jesus. And here I thought the people reading this were marginalized.
Awesome, among your new commenters are kiss ups who run garish party poker websites that haven't been updated in a year. Sort of fitting.
(meow!)
Let us all pause now and remember the poor freelancers and ad sales reps that have to toil for these magazines. Oh and the Art Directors, who are routinely mocked at the AIGA national conventions.
Now this is stuck in my head:
I love it when you call me Butch Poppa...
throw your hands in the air
If youse a true player...
Notorious T.I.M., I do think that the Bears magazine has a section on cock fighting as well, but it is buried in the Personals section. Believe me.
Looks like sheep! should do some font updating. July/August 2005? Looks like Ranger Rick circa 1982.
I have to admit, I find poker sites ugly enough to make my eyes bleed still more attractive than the blog of a self important nobody who feels that a 6 page manifesto on how much she enjoys ice cream is interesting to anyone.
The description of the "Bears" magazine says that it is about the "masculine" side of the gay lifestyle. It includes, cooking, travel and home decor. Wait! They think that that shows off their maculine side?
They do it with burnt sticks and oxen.
Caption suggestion: "Charles never told me the valet would be involved. Oh well, anything for England."
Hey RobotsonCasiotones,
Your comment really hurt my feelings! Since you're totally anonymous, and I am not, what can I say about you? It's not a fair fight, is it?
Oh wait! Thanks to simple sleuthing, you're not anon! Did you know that? And YOU aren't a nobody...
You're a 25-year-old who is still getting her BA in California (reach for the stars) -- who is best, and only known for posting nasty comments on people's blogs!
I loved the comment you left for a Brooklyn chick blogger where you simply shat all over her post by saying, "Get over yourself." Not only was that really mean, it's how I found you!
PS I love your blogspot blog. You've written two whole posts since 3/06! Congrats. Keep up the good work Julie!
Sincerely,
Susie, the "nobody" who is too nice to post your full name, lame blog and MySpace profile. And honestly, I wish you all the luck in the world. Just be a little smarter online girlie, will ya? Peace out.
Ick. This blog is becoming more and more like the "Boys in the Band." Time for more executions.
You should totally be congratulating yourself on your SUPER TOP SECRET sleuthing skills! I mean, you have uncovered every one of my deepest, darkest secrets (that I typed into my myspace profile). It's a good thing you're so nice because OMG WTF would I do if anyone found out my full name?? (Julie Boggs) or that I have a (http://www.myspace.com/thesepaperbullets) myspace page??
Um, wow. I can't believe you went to all the trouble of stalking me, replying to me and writing me an email to direct me to this awesome display of how clearly well adjusted and fun you are.
Start a discussion:
Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?