Gawker
television
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Singer Takes Strange Trip Into Tinsley Mortimer's Head
[Lily Allen filming a music video across the pond; image via Bauer-Griffin] -
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reality tv
Five Socialite Reality Shows That Will Soon Be Upon Us
Mad Men is collecting dust on my DVR queue. There I admit it. I've fallen like three or four episodes behind. It's not that I don't like it. I do! It's wonderful (if slightly, horribly depressing)! It's just that I have so much television to watch for work. And, unfortunately, Mr. Hamm & co., it's not going to get any better. A spate of reality shows—some old, some new—will soon be tumbling out of the gate and into our living rooms. Many of these shows, sadly, feature layabout socialites like Olivia Palermo and Kelly Killoren Bensimon. I've compiled a little rundown of these shows for you after the jump because, well, who doesn't like a Monday listicle. More » -
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"Hello Camera. Do You See The Ghost Next To Me? I Think She Is a Nice Ghost Because She Wears Pink. Do You Like My Dress? It's Made From Colorforms That Guadalupe Gave Me For My Birthday. She Says I'm Good At Them."
[Socialite Tinsley Mortimer (on the right) with Aubrey O'Day, CEO of the Danity Cane Company, at the Custo Barcelona show; image via Getty] -
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"This Is a Smazagine But Also a Picture Of the Ghost That Lives In My Closet..."
[Tinsley Mortimer, socialite and handbag designer, added: "I am scared of the ghost because I think it wants to steal my hats. I put ghost pellets in a little trail leading out of my closet and into the hallway so it will eat them and follow them out of my room. Guadalupe says the ghost pellets are just Goldfish Crackers but I don't believe her." She then tumbled down some stairs and lay there for hours, purring and clucking like her favorite made-up animal, the "Kittychicken." This was at Fashion Week today; image via Getty. Oh, also, this horrible thing exists.] -
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wtf
Wait, Why Is Reuters Writing About Tinsley Mortimer?
The Associated Press has a celebrity news division, writes long fluffy trend stories and offers opinionated (and controversial) political analysis. So while we haven't really been keeping up with what's going on at Reuters, we probably shouldn't be shocked that the newswire, once focused on financial information, just issued a long feature story asserting that 1> Tinsley Mortimer exists, and 2> that she heralds a new era in which New York socialites like herself pretend to have day jobs. Staying focused on business news seems to have paid off for the tyrannical regime that runs Bloomberg, and there seems to be plenty of high-impact finance stories to chase at the moment, but the temptation to swerve lanes on the information highway — newspapers making video, TV shows soliciting user-generated content, media gossip websites covering the Republican National Convention — is strong. Especially when you can always argue a connection to your core competency — in this case, that rich girls who don't need to ever work now feel the need to start their own businesses: More » -
happy things
Tinsley Mortimer Gossip Girl Details Revealed!
So, um, the first episode of Gossip Girl (9 muthafuckin' days y'all) FEATURES TINSLEY MORTIMER. We knew the brain-addled, handbag-designing socialite was cameoing, but we didn't know it would be the first episode. "...Dan has spent the summer assisting a famous author, but decides to head to the Hamptons to see how things stand with Serena after a summer spent apart. While interning for Eleanor Waldorf’s company, Jenny sneaks an invite to a much-coveted Hamptons’ White Party at which Eric introduces her to socialite Tinsley Mortimer." [TeamSugar] Tinsley talks about her experiences on the show after the jump. More » -
gossip roundup
Madonna's Brother's "Giant Orgasm"
- Madonna heard about her brother Christopher Ciccone's tell-all book, so she emailed him "Call me." He was all, "Hello? I don’t respond to commands anymore." Besides, writing the book "was like a giant fucking orgasm." [Observer]
- The (supposed) backstory on the Christian Bale assault investigation: He was depressed about the death of Heath Ledger, and exhausted from the movie, and his Mom said "some very outrageous things about him, and his wife," according to a Mail source. Bale yelled at her but didn't touch her or the wife, supposedly. Bale also reportedly lashed out recently on the set of Terminator 4.
- Lorne Michaels, the Saturday Night Live producer, won an initial court decision against a man who keeps trying to contact him because the Long Island man claims Michaels is eavesdropping on his private conversations, "singing and/or other utterances." [Post]
- Socialites Tinsley and Topper Mortimer might get to join the very exclusive Southmampton Bathing Competition. It was in Bonfire of the Vanities and everything! Think good thoughts, so that the Tinz and her sis might some day be cordoned off from rabble like yourself. [Observer]
- Banking heir Matthew Melon promised, in writing, to pay his girlfriend and business partner $1 million if he ever did cocaine again. Now, of course, they've broken up and she's trying to enforce the contract. He was definitely high at some point! [P6]
- Actor Balthazar Getty acknowledged that he has separated rom his wife, in case the pictures of him groping Sienna Miller topless weren't confirmation enough. [P6]
- Lauren Conrad was two hours late to a paid appearance, even though there was a helicopter to ferry her to the party. [P6]
- Here's a picture of Matthew McConaughey's brand new baby. [OK!]
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socialites
The Sound of Tinsley Mortimer's Voice
Socialite/"handbag designer" Tinsley Mortimer's voice—and face!—is wonderfully blank, which I think is what makes her so American. She's an empty room waiting to be decorated, a blank canvas, a work-in-progress constantly looking for ways to better herself. We can all find a way to project our needs and desires onto Tinsley. For example, haven't you ever wondered what your life would be like had you been born a blonde with superlong wavy hair? She's never sarcastic and always earnest to the point where you think maybe she's making fun of herself—not that she would ever stoop to that level of discourse. She's also been getting some TV time lately—click for her latest CNBC spotlight, via Park Avenue Peerage. What she does is not the point; the point is that Tinsley simply exists. (Or, as the Japanese call her, "Tins-ree!" She is huge in Japan.) More »
