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Posts Tagged “

Peter Braunstein

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"So let's be honest: You know there's some couple out there that has already spiced up their sex life by performing the Peter Braunstein fantasy. You can almost hear the conversation: "C'mon, baby, I'll get the smoke bombs and the fireman outfit; it'll be so hot!" And her resigned reply: "Okay, but you have to buy me two bottles of Cristal." Also: Even money on the possibility that at least one of them works in the fashion industry."

15 comments

typical fashionista diets

Peter Braunstein's Prime Time Moment


Friday's "20/20" had a jailhouse interview with psycho fireman-impersonator Peter Braunstein. Braunstein, whose slurred cadence is due to the "don't be crazy" medicine they've put him on, describes the evening he held a former co-worker hostage and sexually tormented her for hours, as well as his hopes and dreams. It's a bizarre performance: The guy is clearly off the reservation, but how far off? He was polite enough to leave a thank you note at the scene of the crime, after all.

10:47 AM on Mon Jul 2 2007
By abalk
2,617 views, 9 comments

Latest by zibby: Good to see he held on to that red shirt. more »

ABC interviews crazy fireman impersonator Peter Braunstein. Catch it tonight on "20/20"! [ABC]

1 comment

pot vs. kettle

Andrea Peyser Singlehandedly Responsible For Tough Braunstein Sentence

Our favorite Post harpie isn't one to toot her own horn. In fact, if there's anything she despises more than sluttery, it's narcissism: "For the first time in his miserable "Me! Me! Me!" existence, Peter Braunstein looked mad. And more than a little afraid." Later: " It's not about "Me." But in the midst of all this, Andrea manages to subtly work in a mention of another "me": herself.
Well, we know he reads this newspaper. In a letter pleading for leniency from Judge Thomas Farber, Braunstein whined about how the criminal-justice system, the state mental-health laws and especially the media all conspired to convict him. He even quoted from my column, in which I said that he was not sick, but evil. "This kind of tabloid rhetoric is essentially a mandate for harsh sentencing," he wrote, as if it were a bad thing.
Hypocritical? Maybe a little. But we'll forgive her because of her heroic avoidance of explicit prison rape jokes this time around. More »

12:45 PM on Tue Jun 19 2007
By Emily Gould
592 views, 4 comments

Latest by Edward Lionheart: What a brave soul, taking a controversial stand against Peter Braunstein... We really need more gifted writers like Andrea Peyser to denounce sexual assault and kidnapping, because, you know, he has been so venerated by the media. Let me pose more »

Phony fireman Peter Braunstein gets 18 years to life in sex assault trial. [Court Tv]

5 comments

It's sentencing day for fake Bravest Peter Braunstein. Pervy Pete could get life in prison for his kidnapping/sexual assault conviction, but some sympathetic jurors suggest that 15-25 years is enough time. [NYDN]

5 comments

Please enjoy Peter Braunstein's (handwritten!) letter to the judge, begging for light sentencing. It's, um, wow. [Court TV]

2 comments

In a letter to the judge who will sentence him for his kidnapping and sexual assault conviction, former WWD media reporter and unsexyfakefireman Peter Braunstein asks for sympathy: "During the trial, the New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser declared that I was not sick; I was evil. This kind of tabloid rhetoric is essentially a mandate for harsh sentencing." Braunstein also suggested that Peyser's branding Paris Hilton an "ignorant slut" was "a little harsh." [NYP]

5 comments

week in review

Our Specialty Is Consumption. Our Subspecialty Is Diptheria.

  • We took one last look at the Look Book.
  • We overheard the Times' Bill Keller telling his minions to "fake it till you make it."
  • We got a new snotty little sister who's always borrowing our makeup without asking.
  • We watched Rosie and Elisabeth resolve the war in Iraq.
  • We bathed in Tom Ford's musk.
  • We put the whole sorry Peter Braunstein mess behind us.
  • We tried to put the whole sorry Eric Schaeffer mess behind us. Again.
  • But not before we found him a dream date.
    • More »

    3:00 PM on Fri May 25 2007
    By Emily Gould
    1,315 views, 3 comments

    Latest by Pope John Peeps II: Speaking of the Rosie/Hasseltits war, I'd just like to bump this comment, by Sloppy Seconds, which is AWESOME. clicky clicky (P.S. "Your thoughts defend your own insinuations?" It's nice that Hasselhack's tits and tan can fill in for the 40% of more »

    andrea peyser explains it all

    Kicking Peter Braunstein When He's Down

    Post scold Andrea Peyser basically has two modes: righteous indignation, and vindictive rage peppered with jokes about ass-rape. Today she's in the latter mode! "The sexual tormentor will never be able to walk without fear of reprisals. Of beatings. Of rape. He will go to bed wondering - is that sexual assault, or are you just making friends?" Also, she knows the real reason why Peter lost his case: "Peter Braunstein was convicted for conducting a 13-hour reign of terror on one woman. But really, the man who dressed up like a hero firefighter, then effortlessly carried out his sickening plan, was taken down for daring to mess with all of our heads." If only everyone who did that had to go away for 25 years! We'd miss this column, though.

    Time At Last For Him To Be Scared     [NYP]

    1:30 PM on Thu May 24 2007
    By Emily Gould
    710 views, 7 comments

    Latest by ellagood: it must be comforting to be the only woman in new york city who stands no chance of every being raped. more »

    perv foiled

    Braunstein Guilty

    The jury was out for four hours deliberating in the trial of sexcrazyfakeyfireman Peter Braunstein, who will now probably not get to live out his dream of killing Vogue editor Anna Wintour because he will shortly be sentenced to 25 years to life. So long, sado! More »

    6:35 PM on Wed May 23 2007
    By Choire
    1,640 views, 14 comments

    i know why the caged bird writes crazy hate-filled screeds

    Kenneth Eng Is Behind Bars

    Is Kenneth Eng finally learning the difference between good attention and bad attention? The Village Voice reports that everyone's favorite Asian supremacist (who was so upset that the kid at Virginia Tech pulled off a violent bloodbath before he could), is currently a guest of the city. More »

    9:50 AM on Wed May 23 2007
    By abalk2
    9,262 views, 47 comments

    huey long meets jim jones

    Peter Braunstein Could Have Saved Chocolate City

    Yesterday Dr. William Barr, the prosecution's final witness in the kidnapping and sex abuse trial of lovesexyhatefireman Peter Braunstein, testified as to Braunstein's plans in the wake of his attack and subsequent flight. The South would rise again! (But in the good way!) More »

    1:10 PM on Tue May 22 2007
    By abalk2
    1,638 views, 10 comments

    okay, we get it, you're crazy

    Braunstein: Nailing Bob Marley Should Have Made Anna Wintour A Better Person

    Yesterday's trial proceedings of futuresexcrazyfakefiremanvillain Peter Braunstein brought another frightening peek into his twisted mind. He wanted to kill Vogue editor Anna Wintour! "I'm going to kill Anna Wintour—because I just feel like it," the former WWD reporter scrawled in his journal. Our precious Wintour! But why? More »

    10:36 AM on Tue May 15 2007
    By abalk2
    5,952 views, 20 comments

    okay, we get it, you're crazy

    Peter Braunstein's Brain Bigger, Crazier Than Yours

    Is it just us, or does psychosexfakefirefighterfiend Peter Braunstein's brain sort of look like it's smiling? Maybe they scanned it during one of those "Anna Wintour rots in hell" fantasies. More »

    10:40 AM on Fri May 11 2007
    By abalk2
    770 views, 17 comments

    okay, we get it, you're crazy

    Peter Braunstein Believes In Our Kind Of Afterlife

    So yesterday Peter Braunstein's attorney read a couple excerpts from his client's journals.
    In them, Mr. Braunstein described how he had spoken with God three times, beginning when he was 13. He said he expected to go to heaven, while Anna Wintour, the editor of Vogue magazine, would go to hell.
    He wrote that he identified with the victims of Hurricane Katrina, because they were poor and did not care about fashion and status. And he wrote that he expected to be killed by the police when he was captured.
    Meanwhile, he wrote, "Wintour will be escorted by eunuchs to a place in hell run entirely by large rats." As for himself, he wrote, "I'll be in heaven, along with Joan of Arc, Biohazard's mom and Aaron Spelling."
    Any additional commentary would be superfluous. More »

    6:00 PM on Thu May 10 2007
    By abalk2
    918 views, 28 comments

    Latest by Maestra: I'm so pleased to know that Anna will be in hell. I feel as though her presence will add a certain je ne sais quoi to the parties I will be holding at my fabulous penthouse with River Styx views. more »

    crime porn

    Picking The Peter Braunstein Photos That Best Meet Your Needs

    Yesterday at Peter Braunstein's trial for kidnapping and sexual assault, jurors were treated to a series of readings from his personal journals. Braunstein's personal manifesto provided a chilling journey into the mind of a blah blah blah—the important thing is that both of the tabs have evidentiary photos! More »

    11:16 AM on Wed May 9 2007
    By abalk2
    4,974 views, 16 comments

    media reporters

    Keach Hagey Gets Clipped From 'Voice'

    Sad news about a new friend: Village Voice Press Clips columnist Keach Hagey is no longer in that, or any, position at the paper. It seems that her trial period has expired, and Editor Tony Ortega has decided that the inexperienced young ones that his equally inexperienced predecessor put into positions for which they were unprepared (call it empathy) are going to have to enjoy the opportunity to learn their craft elsewhere. (Peter Braunstein would not approve.) We're sort of sorry to see Keach go—since we've stopped grading her a few weeks ago, we haven't had to read Press Clips at all. Good thing she's got the band to fall back on.

    5:53 PM on Fri May 4 2007
    By abalk2
    720 views, 3 comments

    Latest by Newsbriefs: Buckle Up, Everyone! on Eat The Press: "No, you see. Here's the problem. You don't know the history of seatbelts. I do." "Aren't there examples, and might not you, yourself be an example, of someone who could have benefited from seatbelts? "All it does is more »