Gawker
We realize that many of you lead busy lives; some of you are so busy, in fact, that you probably lack the time to read Forbes' "Stay Away From the Smart Bitches" piece. In that spirit, we've put together a brief summary of the article, based entirely on its slideshow. It actually comes off as a miraculous fairy tale for adults, complete with suitable moral. After the jump, the condensed version of why you shouldn't marry those ball-busting, cash-making whores.
Once upon a time, a man and a woman got married even though she made more money than he, which everyone knows is a bad idea.
She gave him a ring and keys to her house.
But she grew unsatisfied being the main breadwinner. What kind of man lets his wife make more money? So she covered herself in costume jewelry and cheated on him with every greasy-haired hipster in town.
In an attempt to keep her from straying, he knocked her up.
An Asian woman wept at the senselessness of it all.
Cuckolded and depressed, the man went on a Goldfish-eating binge.
Matt Drudge wept at the senselessness of it all.
The wife remained unhappy, but at least she was still hot. She divorced her husband and met a man who, if he was a little annoying with all those soulful stares, at least brought home more cash than she did.
The man caught a cold, and rued the day he ever did something as senseless as shackle himself to a woman who may have been intellectually compatible with him but outperformed him in a financial sense.
The End
Comments
I have a word to describe pieces like this: Cliparticles!
I'm the first one to ever say that! Hooray!
Damn - you guys are nailing this piece like an unfaithful over-educated insatiable overpaid career woman. Nice work.
Damn, 2 Masters degrees and I still didn't remember which button to pick and accidentaly clicked on the Forbes slideshow first, thus driving one more machine to their useless site. Shit shit shit.
Don't let that bitch out of the house where she might be able to make the neccessary comparisons in order to discern that you are, in fact, an ass. And believe us, you are an ass. She better be stupid too because it's pretty fucking clear.
Does anyone smell backlash? Also, haven't there been studies that show that regarless of age, income and education men are always more mentally and emotionally stable whereas women become less so on the big day. How do they keep tricking us into this?
As a greasy-haired hipster, I couldn't be happier about this newest phenomenon.
This should be published in the Times "funny" pages. Cliparticles! Stockographies!
Here's a photo, for all you available, under $30K/year but-not-on-welfare-cause-thats-kind-of-gross ladies out there:
http://images.forbes.com/media/2005/sneakpeek/boxes/mnoer....
Gigi: There's no smell except shit, because the trend backlash is just as hackneyed as the trend piece itself, as we learned earlier today.
Personally, I avoid career women because they never seem to believe me when I explain, in simple terms, why I've been unemployed for 2 years. The bohemian, drifting types tend to accept and support my delusional self-assessments, and they always have a good supply of weed.
And frankly, I don't fully trust anyone who works in an office, period.
(that's not a joke)
$5 says he wrote that article because some "career woman" he met at a bar last night left before he could roofie her drink.
A bra burnin' I will go:
I feel that Forbes phenomenon out there.
Has feminism been flushed down the toilet?
Why is this acceptable in our day?
I know you ask the same questions (in a highly superior, more beautifully advanced, way) but I wanted to chime in here and say - Ow! This sucks.
Yeah, Brian, but those gals often got the herp.
Brian- Backlash is not a trend, it's pretty standard social and cultural analysis terminology. Also an excellent book by Susan Falludi...sadly retro. Most importantly I missed the reference and besides-- that's exactly what a backlash-er would say.
As a queerboy who takes advantage of drunk divorced guys on the DL, I couldn't be happier about this newest phenomenon. *high fives greasy hipster*
Michael Noer's totally available, Transuranic. Just a guess, but he'll want you to make EXACTLY as much as him, or slightly less.
Brian - You've got it all wrong. The freaks who make a lot of money working in offices all day have the best ganja for kicking back at night. Trust me on this.
For the record, some of us career women actually enjoy working. I know it's crazy, but I'd rather have a job I love than a crying baby and a whining husband. Blech.
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