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Alex Kuczynski
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the rich
knocked up
Someone Is Having Alex Kuczynski's Baby
New York Times rich people beat reporter, billionaire-marrier, possible orgy enthusiast, and over-sharing plastic surgery addict Alex Kuczynski is expecting! Expecting a surrogate mother to carry and deliver her baby, that is, according to Liz Smith. Alex and her ridiculously wealthy (and ripped) husband Charles Stevenson have reportedly tried "several times" at this child-having thing, to no avail. Stevenson has five children from other women, a set-up the Kucz has commented on with approval on other occasions. (All you have to do is cheer them on at graduation—no weight gain or unseemly marks or scars!) So, we ask you, the Gawker readership: who on Earth is currently feeding and growing the spawn of the Amazing Plastic Woman? More »
books
The Many Faces of Alex Kuczynski
Which version of Times rich lady beat reporter Alex Kuczynski's book, Beauty Junkies, would you rather buy? The original hardcover is subtitled, "Inside Our $15 Billion Obsession With Cosmetic Surgery." The newer, younger paperback version is called: "Beauty Junkies: In Search of the Thinnest Thighs, Perkiest Breasts, Smoothest Faces, Whitest Teeth, and Skinniest, Most Perfect Toes in America." Whoa. Maybe they're trying to shore up sales? After the jump, we play a little game of "Which cover is better? More »
'The rich do strange and terrible things with their money' beat reporter Alex Kuczynski is supplanted at the Times today by second-stringer Deb Schoeneman, who introduces us to Brad Peik and Sara Kehoe, a couple who have retained a "personal manager" to help them invent their lifestyle. "'Allison is covering all the bases for me,' said Mr. Peik, who spends winters in Lake Tahoe in California and feels more comfortable navigating ski slopes than society. 'I didn't want to waste my short time here setting up an apartment and figuring out what we would do here.' His girlfriend, a photographer, was grateful that she didn't have to deal with the move. 'If I had no job and nothing going on, it would seem reasonable for me to do these things.'" [NYT]
bees
Neither Alex Kuczynski Nor Michael Cunningham Can Spell
At the cocktail party preceding the Council of Literary Magazines and Presses spelling bee last night, former Star editor Joe Dolce was rubbing up against cheetah-sheathed Page Six editor Paula Froelich. Was he here to spell, like Paula? "God no." He was here to cheer on his boy, HarperCollins VP Jonathan Burnham. Joe has been mostly occupied by cheering Jonathan on lately, though he hasn't been completely at loose ends during his year of unemployment: "I was working on a web-based project about design, but I had to pull back from it recently," he said, as a very tall, beautiful woman in a houndstooth skirt and enormous diamond earrings came up behind him and mischievously grinned at everyone. It was Alex Kuczynski, who has been described by this website as a "pervert," a "body modification expert," "somewhat plastically-reconstructed," a "facially-reconfigured semiotician," and most often, "Times rich lady beat reporter." "Hi Bunny!," she said. "I looove your bangs! You look like a person on the 'Brady Bunch'!" Did she mean Cousin Oliver? Whatever, totally charmed! Nikola Tamindzic documented this.
blind item knowing game
Is Alex Kuczynski Given To Sexual Overshares?
"Which kinky fashion writer shocked guests recently when she asked her billionaire husband's pre-teen daughter—in front of company—to rehash the time the girl walked in on the couple in a compromising bedroom position?" asked Page Six yesterday, and as much as it pains us to imply this before breakfast, we're thinking the "fashion writer" in question might be Times shopping and rich people things reporter Alex Kuczynski. She is married to Charles Stevenson, a billionaire with six children. Also, we must once again recall that she has shouted "Orgy! Orgy!" at a party at her Idaho home. Yay pervert! We wish we knew more about this mysterious woman's inner life, but she is so reticent. Update: Ok, we are reliably informed that Alex is not the kinky person in question here, so.
From yesterday's "Over 40 is Facebook creepy" article in the Times: "It's no secret that Facebook, which started as a networking playground for college kids, is graying, and that the percentage of active members who are over 25 years old and out of school has risen to some 40 percent of the overall population of about 45 million. The influx raises questions. Will the loss of the campus sensibility and the youthful gestalt dilute the Facebook experience? And will the newcomers use the site — and change it? Or is it just another example of the fact that Americans age, but never seem to mature?" On the other hand, some Facebook users mature but never seem to age! [NYT]
the riches
What Did We Learn About Alex Kuczynski This Week?
In another highly-necessary shopping piece in the Times Styles section (a piece that we could not face until now), the body modification expert Alex Kuczynski discusses shredders. The office kind, not the Van Halen kind. True to form, she used shredders as a lens to teach us about Alex Kuczynski. More »
phallophobia
Alex Kuczynski Reminisces About Cocklearnin'
"The first time I saw an International Male catalog was at the all-girls Virginia boarding school I attended in the 1980s. The cool girls—the ones who owned their own horses and got BMWs for their 16th birthdays, with car-size bows on top—got the catalog in their mailboxes, along with subscriptions to GQ. The uncool girls, if we were lucky, got to peer over their shoulders at pictures of male models in thong bikinis. I found the presentation of male genitalia, packaged and posed and seemingly aroused, totally terrifying. Were they really that long and tuber-like? And were men supposed to stare at you in such a brooding, animal way, their eyes glowering at siesta level, their mouths puckered in baby-doll O's?" Read on if you like, but this is where we stopped. More »
the mind-face problem
Maybe Alex Kuczynski Is The Smart One In Her Family
Today's Page Six notes that Times gal and plastic surgery Kool-Aid-drinker Alex Kuczynski is the stupid one in the family, as her brother John-Michael Kuczynski (as Alex has noted) is a professor of philosophy and the author of the hot new beach-read "Conceptual Atomism and the Computational Theory of Mind: A Defense of Content-Internalism and Semantic Externalism." (Ooh, paging Jerry Fodor!) So if you enjoyed Mr. K's "A non-Russellian treatment of the referential-attributive distinction," you'll love this new one! But Page Six isn't being fair: Anyone who's played backgammon with Alex K. will tell you that she possesses a vicious cunning—beyond rat-like even! There's smart in there—and after all, she's the one getting chauffeured around and working at the Times just because she feels like it, not because she has to, while he's slaving away with grad students. So who's the stupid sibling now?
how your sausage gets made
Alex Kuczynski Needs Ideas
Are you on pretty and somewhat plastically-reconstructed Times reporter Alex Kuczynski's email list? If you are, you'd better get cracking, because she has some columns coming up over there and she's got absolutely nothing. Her plea includes this priceless bit: "Next subject: Art! Any thoughts on art would be greatly appreciated." P.S. Later today we are writing some posts about things! Any of your thoughts on "things" would be totally appreciated! More »
diagnose jobs
Understanding Alex Kuczynski
Taken as a continuously unreeling whole, the oeuvre of Times style writer Alex Kuczynski is one of the more astonishing texts of our time. From her days at the Observer through her stint as serious auteur of a book about plastic surgery, Kuczynski's work has managed to move, baffle, and alarm nearly everyone it's touched. We wondered if maybe there was a method to her madness. Turns out, there is! More »
Gosh, it's been so long since we've written about Times rich lady beat reporter and plastic surgery volunteer Alex Kuczynski that we almost forgot how to spell "Kuczynski!" But the opening of today's review of Oh The Hell Of It All cannot be ignored. "When Sean Wilsey's memoir, "Oh the Glory of It All," was published in 2005, I went through it in great mouthfuls, laughing so hard I choked on my own spit, gasping with such noisy abruptness on the subway that I was forced to explain to my fellow passengers the contents of the passage I had just read, and why they had to immediately run out and buy this book." Look, the subway is for the poors, Alex. Stop bothering us with your spit.
girls who like boys who have boobs like they're girls
At Least One Hollywood Agent Had Man Boobs
After last week's triumphant return to the pages of the Times Styles section, Manhattan upper crust queen Alex Kuczynski gets front page placement with an investigation of gynecomastia, also known as "boy boobies." Apparently, there's a growing epidemic of man-mammarage amongst our nation's youth, probably because kids today are so outrageously fat. The solution? Plastic surgery. The Kucz is clearly in her sweet spot here. More »
shop making sense
Alex Kuczynski: 'John Varvatos Is Trying To Live A Death'
At long last, facially-reconfigured semiotician Alex Kuczynski has returned to her old stomping grounds in the Times' Thursday Styles section, and she's more inscrutable than ever! Yay! Reporting on John Varvatos' new Hamptons outpost, she describes the popularity of the designer's signature laceless Chuck Taylors: "The first time I saw a pair, they adorned the feet of a Hamptons-hopping Beverly Hills money manager. You see what I mean. They're not just sneakers; they are the footwear equivalent of the white man's overbite." This might be the most inaccurate usage of the phrase "you see what I mean" in history! More »
literary feuds
More »
Alex Kuczynski Further Distancing Herself From the Disgusting Book Critics
Back in April, when Alex Kuczynski last contributed to the New York Times Book Review, she struck out against "jealous book critics" who like tearing down modeling novels because they "aren't tall and gorgeous" and because they want "to wield their puny amount of power to establish some sort of moral order." She sort of whispered it, but we heard her; this weekend, she appears in the Book Review once again, writing on a pair of short fiction lady books (not yet online, mysteriously), and her campaign for singularity in the scribble sphere is becoming more pronounced.More »
internal investigations
How Alex Kuczynski Almost Became A Blogger
A few months ago, the Times decided to ramp up some of their more lucrative "verticals" on their website—including Fashion and Style. They had lots of ideas, which they put on the company wiki for everyone to read and comment on. But did all of their plans come to fruition? Well, let's just say we were spared the disaster that inevitably would have been an Alex Kuczynski blog. The wiki, and what really happened, follow. More »
who are these people?
